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Six Toxic Responses to Boundaries
Toxic people dislike boundaries the way my cats hate a closed door. They figure it is their right to come and go as they please. The ripped up carpet and scratches on my door attest to their utter determination to have their way. The cats, that is. Toxic people usually damage far more than just a rug and a couple of doors. I suppose learning how to erect healthy boundaries always includes a learning curve. I, for one, did not anticipate the ruthlessness and perseverance with which toxic people attempt to discredit, tear down, and generally disrespect boundaries. But I have learned to spot the usual toxic strategies. I can’t…
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Grief: Five Pitfalls that Stall the Healing Process
Grief recovery is an uncomfortable topic for many. We skirt around those who have suffered grievous loss, afraid that we will say the wrong thing. But just as a little research will help anyone learn to validate and support a grieving friend, help is also available for those who must journey through serious grief. The Grief Recovery Handbook is just such a resource and in it, I learned a lot about how to complete a cycle of grief. The first topic within the book is about how various types of pitfalls keep us from fully grieving and completing the relationship that has been severed, whether through death or divorce. Other…
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Shame Free: Taking off the Invisibility Cloak
Anyone who spends a good amount of time longing for invisibility has a struggle with shame and/or anxiety on their hands. I should know. I still occasionally wish that I could slip through life unnoticed. Invisibility can seem so safe, especially for a survivor of abuse. Whenever conflict rears its ugly head, my mind and body still kick into flight mode. Some people are fighters and launch themselves into the fray. Others, like myself, turn to invisibility to minimize the attention of those around us. We freeze like the bunny wondering if the wolf has caught its scent. I want to look at the emotional roots of this phenomenon because…
Healing Through Art & Words
