• abuse,  codependency,  narcissist,  narcissistic abuse,  relationship

    Narcissistic Marriage: The Five Lies That Bind

    Staying in a narcissistic relationship takes a lot of commitment.  After all, the benefits of the relationship are fleeting at best, while the daily slog of being someone’s personal slave is exhausting.  I have opened up in this blog because I feel led by the Lord to tell my story as a way of owning it.  And one of the most difficult things about admitting to my past is that I am generally perceived as a competent, even gifted, woman.  People ask, without meaning to hurt me, “How did you get trapped in such a circumstance?” The truth is that narcissists often target intelligent, strong women.  Where’s the challenge, otherwise?…

  • abuse,  abuser,  Fear,  lies,  Pharisee,  reconcile,  relationship,  relationship to God,  spiritual

    The Spiritual Abuser: The Five Lies They Tell

    At thirteen years old, in eighth grade, I became the victim of a spiritual abuser. I just didn’t realize it for years. I attended confirmation classes in my church and sang in the choir, rang bells in the handbell choir, and participated in the youth group.  Ardent for the Lord, I led my youth group in a twenty-four-hour prayer vigil. But I was also vulnerable and awkward.  Too tall too fast and prone to saying the wrong thing, I carried a full contingent of insecurities.  So when my mother’s prayer partner and friend, (I will call her Gladys) cornered me one day after I had babysat her children for an…

  • abuse
    abuse,  abuser,  Abusive Parenting

    Child Abuse: How God Healed a Tragic Story

    Abuse has effects that can take years to heal if they ever do. I know that for, me, healing from abuse has taken quite a journey of searching. And so I have a confession to make. Good stories make me weep. At the movies, I am a crier. My healing journey from abuse has made me susceptible to emotions of all kinds. My kids like to watch me watch a movie. They nudge their elbow into each other’s sides and nod their heads in my direction the moment a tear starts to slip down my cheek.  I hold off as long as I can, but I don’t go into a…