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Toxic Forgiveness: A Harmful Imitation
Toxic forgiveness is akin to toxic positivity; underneath, it is a lie. To forgive a grievous wrong is not unlike the picture of grief I hold in my heart of a giant ball of gnarled string, each one a memory that must be looked at and let go. Letting go of the past is not a one-time task. Instead, it is a day-by-day release as one steps into the present fully. Of course, the words of Matthew 6:12 asking God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us hang over those of us who have suffered significant trauma at the hands of others. I know countless women…
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What is Fawning and How to Stop
When I first heard the term fawning, described as a trauma response, it hit me pretty hard. An empathetic and desperately self-conscious kid, I eventually grew into an empathetic and self-conscious adult. Marrying a narcissist did nothing to help, and I soon learned to become a people pleaser as a survival tactic. And for a long time after I escaped from my abuser, I didn’t question it. It had become second nature. I tolerated uncomfortable and even abusive relationships in my work and personal life, often falling prey to what I call quasi-narcissists. These people in our lives are self-centered but occasionally have the grace to feel guilty about it.…
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The Father of Every Narcissist
The father of every narcissist is, of course, the devil. He provides a perfect pattern card of narcissistic behavior, beginning with his fall from heaven. Just a precursory look at his words and behavior read like the DSM’s definition of narcissism. I have often had readers protest my Biblical analysis of narcissistic personality disorder. Their objection comes from the idea that NPD is a psychological term and, therefore, not Biblically valid. But depression is another clinical term often applied to Elijah, Jeremiah, and Jonah. It is a universal experience that afflicts most humans, if not all, at one time or another. So my response to the objection is that nothing…
Healing Through Art & Words
