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Five Ways to Contend for Your Recovery from Trauma
Recovery from extended abuse is measured over a lifetime, though often it comes in fits and spurts. Revelations and aha moments come to those who are looking for them. I am often amused by the ‘unpopular opinion’ memes, but tonight I find myself holding one of my very own. More people avoid recovery than seek it. The world is filled with people who do not have the opportunity or means to heal, whether from extreme poverty, isolation, or even a lack of any spiritual or mental health resources. But this is not true of most people with whom I come into regular contact. And I get it. Confronting the…
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Four Ways We Gaslight Ourselves after Abuse
By now, most people realize that to gaslight someone is to attempt to separate them from a core belief in themselves and their reality. In a genuine gaslighting situation, an abuser will often say things like Are you sure that is how it happened? I don’t remember it that way. Or perhaps it will go like this: I think you took my words just a little too seriously. You are just too sensitive and don’t know how to take a joke. In extreme situations, the abuser suggests that something is really wrong with the victim, that they need professional help. I am pretty familiar with this phenomenon because my narcissistic ex…
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Your Abusive Spouse: When to Leave
Leave your abusive spouse now. Before anyone protests the sanctity of the marriage vow, let me say that I don’t take this answer lightly. And let me qualify the term, abusive spouse. Most people are occasionally emotionally ‘abusive’. These days that term is loosely bandied about and it can be difficult to ferret out what one or another individual means by it. Ironically, many abusers accuse their spouses of abusive behavior in an attempt to deflect their own wrongdoing. So let’s be clear by what this term really entails. Many people shut down, withdraw, lose their temper, and sulk. As humans, we are sometimes passive-aggressive, over-step a boundary, or let…
Healing Through Art & Words
