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How to Have Gratitude without Faking It
My ability to have gratitude has grown with my capacity to tell myself the truth. I used to think that offering the sacrifice of praise that the book of James recommends meant I had to pretend to be thankful for some really awful things. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we read In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. So occasionally I would wind up my thanksgiving machine and thank God for things for which to this day I am not thankful. What I have since learned about the sovereign hand of God and gratefulness is life-changing, but really could only come at with the…
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Validation: How to Love Well
Validation is the little-recognized glue than creates and mends relationships. After all, we live in our own selves all day, every day. Understanding someone else’s journey takes effort, in part because clearing the decks of our own experiences is so challenging. But the rewards of validation are great. Validation builds trust, opens previously clogged channels of communication, and creates relationship between the most unlikely pairs. The primary myth about validation is that by affirming someone else, you are signing off on their beliefs. Validation means selling out your position for the sake of peace and a couple of feel-good moments. Not true. Affirmation of a person is not ratifying their…
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How to Build a Marriage: His Needs, Her Needs
Sometimes the over-consumption of books can lead one to mistake knowledge for wisdom. This was surely the case for me when we decided to attend a home group on the topic of marriage at our church, Harvest Cathedral, in Macon, Georgia. We attended the group on the strength of our fondness for our pastors, Steve and Debbie Sawyer, though without any high expectations. I remember asking a fellow professor once how his marriage was. It was an appropriate question in the context of our conversation. His response was disarmingly honest. He called it, “functional”. I was still in the throes of our honeymoon at the time so I remember feeling…
Healing Through Art & Words
