The Wait of Glory: Mindfulness and the Mind of Christ
The men in my family lose their ability to wait in line at the age of forty-five. I remember my grandfather, as we were getting ready to go to Disney World, almost losing his nerve and bickering with my grandmother. “The lines, Mary Alice,” he said in urgent tones, “Think of the lines!”
Later, my father came to visit me in Kentucky. At what was supposed to be a quick trip to the grocery store, we waited at the meat counter for the lady to slice pastrami. But we were in Kentucky and in Kentucky, a trip to the grocery store is a chance to become acquainted. At length. Twenty minutes into the encounter with molasses lady, my father laid his head down on the glass counter. His eyes focused on some distant vision I could not share. He was contemplating the futility of his existence, I believe.
My own husband has a look I call the “look of intense suffering”. It is reserved for times of emotional anguish, terrible physical pain, and any line lasting longer than five minutes.
Waiting is the subject of many a Christian book; all of them dedicated to the idea that God requires us to wait and all of them filled with helpful suggestions about how to “actively” wait and to somehow justify God’s seeming tardiness. I have never been fond of those books, nor did they inure me to the agonies of waiting.
Waiting involves pain. Almost nothing is a more painful to a child than waiting. I remember waiting through endless adult conversations. Church was always a wait and even school was a lot of training one to stand in line and wait.
For me, the default waiting position is dissociation. I can stand at empty attention with nary a thought in my head. I numbly settle into a wait. After all, I have raised six children and have waited through doctor’s appointments, sports events, and worst of all, school performances. My waiting skills eventually petered out and I bribed my children to skip events unless they really wanted to go. That is a sincere confession since many other and better mothers and fathers gamely watched class after class not sing various songs for hours on end at the end of every semester.
I chickened out, but my children remember the twenty dollar bills fondly so hopefully, I didn’t ruin their childhoods.
So is there any more tortuous spiritual exercise than waiting on the Lord? And what does that even mean? The promise in Isaiah 40 is that those who wait upon the Lord will mount up on wings of eagles.
This has yet to happen for me. By this, I mean that scene in The Lord of the Rings where Sam’s and Frodo’s limp bodies are gingerly picked up by giant eagles and born off to Gondor where they can recover. I could go for that.
And I am hesitant to give any advice to those who are waiting for a miracle. Sometimes we need a miracle and if it doesn’t happen in our time frame, the consequences feel unbearable. And sometimes we take a word in the Greek and Hebrew and torture it so we can perhaps squeeze some new meaning out of it. This striving is not mindfulness. Mindfulness requires a peaceful observation of the self, rather than desperate attempts to escape reality.
And because Jesus is reality, our attempts to escape ourselves, our lives, is a denial of Christ and His life in us.
Maybe waiting doesn’t really mean waiting, except that it does. How many prayers do we devote to trying to get God to do something faster? What kind of relationship is this, where we imagine ourselves pressuring God and He 
withholds?
So here is my observation of my own life. I was trained from a young age to wait, so much so that it became habit. I waited for class to be over. I waited to graduate. I spent much of my life waiting for this moment to be over, for that person to change, for the next thing to come along. And what was I waiting for?
When Jesus comes along, He says, “The kingdom of God has come.” It is here. Christians can spend their lives waiting for heaven without ever realizing that the kingdom is already here. There is no more wait. If you are waiting to go to heaven, you are wasting your life waiting to die. Heaven has already started, and for that matter, so has hell. If you live in anguish, hell has gained a foothold.
What does this even mean? To live in the steady awareness of the indwelling presence of Christ is mindfulness indeed. Or as I like to say, MindofChristfulness. The kingdom dwells within you. Eternity started long before you did. Eternity is always now.
Mindfulness means that you measure your time against eternity. We do not have to dread the wait any longer because Jesus is readily available in the person of the Holy Spirit. What this means to me, and to you, is that while our to-do list, our dream list, our anxious prayer list stare at us, our hearts have the courage to wait in the throne room of our spirits.
The most important skill I have learned in my life is to stay put. To keep my mind and body in the here and now. Now is usually better than any future I fear. Now is actually pretty good. I’m clothed. I’m fed. I have fulfilling tasks ahead of me to complete. I have people in my life who care about me and who I am deeply loyal to. There is no secret to this. It is in the doing.
The heart of mindfulness begins with recognizing that now is where you are and must stay. So jump out of the cosmic line. Be here with me. Be here with the Almighty. Be present to yourself and to the reality that you are seated with Christ in the heavenlies even as you work through your today, which surely has enough troubles without borrowing those of tomorrow. This way you will bloom where He has planted you.
This book began my practice of mindfulness. We must learn to listen to our bodies.
The recent research on mindfulness is mind-blowing, lol.
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/mindfulness
12 Comments
Leslie Peebles
Yes. The kingdom dwells within us and it is always now. Time, or the lack thereof is construct we have created to make sense of now. I’m only really connected to God, others, myself….When I’m here now in the present moment. My attachment to the oblivion of denial and fantasy is being eroded by my love for God, but it’s a process!
Alice
Thanks for your comment and lovely turtle print. I am generally only anxious when I am projecting into the future. Boy is it a process to learn to live right now! My mind wants to dwell in the past or move into an uncertain future that I cannot know. All I can really know and exist in, is now. This is why I think God calls Himself, “I am”. He is the ultimate now.
The Real Couponer (@TheRealCouponer)
The only thing that should matter is God – and the right now
Heather Hart
“I mean that scene in The Lord of the Rings where Sam’s and Frodo’s limp bodies are gingerly picked up by giant eagles and born off to Gondor where they can recover. I could go for that.” – I feel ya, girl.
We are always waiting for something, but I love your reminder that eternity is now.
Julie
I have read where it says “Christians are a waiting people!” We need patience in our walk because growth takes time! Knowing this makes it all more worthwhile.
P.S. I’m not good at waiting either…I grumble and groan at God a lot about this:)
Melissa
I can wait in line for hours if I’m by myself! I turn inward and allow myself to pray, create, or just be silent. I struggle however with desires for the future. How is it going to happen? Will it happen? Do I have time? Those are the things I pray for guidance on and don’t always feel like I’m getting an answer on.
kbraswell1187
“Now is actually pretty good.” Amen, Sister! What great perspective! You’re right, waiting doesn’t sound or look like much fun, focusing on the “now” can be just as difficult. But the now: The Holy Spirit is here with us. We can hit our knees(now) and hear from the Lord. We now have security because of His sacrifice and (now) know our eternities are sealed. <3 What a great message! Thank you for sharing!
Allyson | Rapt Motherhood
I’m pretty good when it comes to patience and waiting at the doctor’s office or something similar, but I find it hard to wait for the next step of my life. What you said, about learning how to stay put, is such a good truth. It is so hard to be present now, but this is exactly where God has called me to be.
keisharussell84
“Be present to yourself and to the reality that you are seated with Christ in the heavenlies even as you work through your today, which surely has enough troubles without borrowing those of tomorrow. ” SO MUCH TRUTH!! This really spoke to me today as I reflect on how to bloom exactly where God has placed me and to know that I am seated with him and his plan is enough for me. Patience is key for sure.
Amy Christensen
Alice you are wonderful writer and I enjoyed the humor about the men in your family. You are so right about the whole waiting thing. I have made it a practice to try to live in the moment…whatever the moment is, rather than fretting about how things are moving fast enough for my purposes. It really helps. Thanks for this great post. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
Kristi
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud that you bribed your kids. My dad bribed me too but for other reasons. He liked me to win, so would pay me if I earned a medal at competitions. (Nowadays, with everyone getting medals, that would not have worked out to his benefit.) I look back with found memories of that too and all that it helped me accomplish.
But the sport I loved was track and field and there is a lot of waiting in that sport. So I sorta learned to be patient too.
Mary Gemmill
Just as helpful as it was this day last year! Thanks FB memories.
My daughter and I are waiting for good news that her 2 refugee friends interred in a hell hole of a Bangkok prison, will be given a date for their relocation to Ontario. Not have any end in sight is awful. I am waiting in faith believing that God IS ABLE and that in His time the captives will be set FREE. Meanwhile I pray His annointing on them as they share faith in Christ with others of the 100 men in their small room.
It is intensely difficult for my daughter to retain HOPE as she waits on God.
I understand, and pray for strength to get her through, day by day by day.