• Featured

    Five Signs that Reconciliation is Impossible

    Reconciliation is a world of its own apart from forgiveness. So I hesitated when someone recently asked me, “How long do I need to keep forgiving?” Because I realized the real question was about reconciliation, I didn’t respond with the standard seventy times seven answer.  I suppose we don’t really ever stop forgiving, but knowing when to end futile attempts at reconciliation can be important, even life-saving. I used to be a champion reconciler. What that really means is that I went through the motions of apology and apology acceptance as if they meant something. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t. I figured that if someone apologized to me, I…

  • flames that represent hell
    hell,  hope

    Why I Believe in Hell

    Hell is a topic I have avoided till now, mainly because of its obvious nature, or so I thought. I recently noticed that several prominent Christians disavowed their faith because of their decision that hell doesn’t exist. I find this curious since the existence of hell appears clear to me. Don’t get me wrong. I find hellfire and damnation preachers tedious. Scaring people into heaven has proven generally ineffective.   Jesus mentions hell many times, which is enough for me. But the evidence of hell overwhelms me. I see it so clearly in myself, in others, and in this wonderful and terrible world we live in. I think we are…

  • Forgiveness

    Toxic Forgiveness: A Harmful Imitation

    Toxic forgiveness is akin to toxic positivity; underneath, it is a lie. To forgive a grievous wrong is not unlike the picture of grief I hold in my heart of a giant ball of gnarled string, each one a memory that must be looked at and let go. Letting go of the past is not a one-time task. Instead, it is a day-by-day release as one steps into the present fully. Of course, the words of Matthew 6:12 asking God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass us hang over those of us who have suffered significant trauma at the hands of others. I know countless women…