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The Spiritual Abuser: The Five Lies They Tell
At thirteen years old, in eighth grade, I became the victim of a spiritual abuser. I just didn’t realize it for years. I attended confirmation classes in my church and sang in the choir, rang bells in the handbell choir, and participated in the youth group. Ardent for the Lord, I led my youth group in a twenty-four-hour prayer vigil. But I was also vulnerable and awkward. Too tall too fast and prone to saying the wrong thing, I carried a full contingent of insecurities. So when my mother’s prayer partner and friend, (I will call her Gladys) cornered me one day after I had babysat her children for an…
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Why Offering Forgiveness is Terrifying
Grudges are somewhat satisfying. They are weapons we keep to remind us of our own superiority. We pull them up at convenient moments and use them like baseball bats to remind others and ourselves that while we may have done a, b, or c, at least we haven’t done x, y, or z. A good grudge can keep a game of one-upmanship going for years. But for those of us who would like to let bygones be bygones, or whose conscience reminds us that grudges are not a part of an abundant life in Christ, the nitty gritty of forgiveness is fraught with fears that we are not quite sure…
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How to Forgive and Let Go in Five Steps
When I was a child, the rule was that if someone apologized for taking your toy or pulling your hair, you had to forgive them. And generally, the ability to forgive comes easily at five years old or perhaps being easily distracted serves the same purpose. I had unfortunate friends at age five, ones who delighted in teasing me or ditching me on the playground. Every time they came back, needing a third at jump rope or hide and seek, I forgave all. I was more relieved at not being alone than angry at being mistreated. This pattern reasserted itself as I got older. Forgiving small childhood slights barely prepares…
Healing Through Art & Words
