• people pleaser
    Abundant Life - emotional health - Emptiness - Fear - Self Awareness - self worth - Self-Acceptance - True self

    The Five Wounds of a People Pleaser

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    I think most of us struggle with being a people pleaser at some point. Our development as adults requires that we let go of the fear of man as the Bible calls it. We first individuate from our parents, a task that takes decades. After that, we must carve out our identities, choosing what we will and will not stand for as a person. Often this process means eliminating friends along the way, determining which relationships are toxic and which are life-giving. C.S. Lewis famously said that man’s strongest drive was to belong to a group. In essence, humans are…

  • pray
    Practice - prayer - Prayers - relationship to God - Relationship with God

    The One Person I Forget to Pray For

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    It seems strange to admit that I rarely pray for myself. As a list-maker, I found that creating prayer lists and assigning them to certain days really helps me get focused. Every day of the week is dedicated to a different group of people. Mondays I reserve for my husband, Tuesdays for my children and so on. But recently the Lord convicted me of prayerlessness. I was a bit astonished. After all, I pray for my country, my family, my church, etc. with regularity. I can’t go to bed at night without making sure I hit everyone on that day’s…

  • church
    abuse - Narcissism - narcissist - narcissistic abuse - PTSD - spiritual discernment

    How the Church Promotes Abuse (without meaning to)

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    I dislike writing any criticism about the church. She is the Bride of Christ and as such, is holy and set apart. And these days, the criticism of Christians by other Christians is often abusive, condemning, and ugly. This particular issue, however, weighs on my heart and mind. I bring it up humbly, qualifying my topic with the knowledge that not all churches or Christians, by any means, have this problem. I  minister to many women, and actually, quite a number of men. Each of them finds themselves mired in abusive marriages with unrepentant spouses. In some cases, the spouses…