• divorcing
    abuse - Adversity - dissociation - Narcissism - narcissist - narcissistic abuse - narcissists

    Divorce and Your Abuser: Taking the Long Road Home

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    Divorce is not the short cut society pretends it is.  I am a person who likes to be efficient with my energy so I am always looking for life hacks. But God, despite my preferences, has led me the long way round over and over.  I am currently reading through the Bible through the eyes of John Wesley, truly an exercise in taking the long way. But reading through Exodus 13, I finally understood why it was that my routes through life appear so circuitous. The Hebrews are preparing themselves for an escape from slavery. They make their preparations and…

  • depersonalization
    Anxiety - Mental Health - mindfulness - Self - Self-Acceptance

    Depersonalization: Living Apart from Ourselves

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    Depersonalization and derealization according to the definition that pops up in my Google feed: …involves a persistent or recurring feeling of being detached from one’s body or mental processes, like an outside observer of one’s life (depersonalization), and/or a feeling of being detached from one’s surroundings (derealization). Most people have episodes of depersonalization that occur sporadically throughout their lives. It is only when these are prolonged and begin to interfere with every day functioning that the professionals get involved. My observations on this topic are personal and not professional, though I have helped quite a few people identify and move…

  • despair
    abuse - abuser - Controlling Behaviors - Fear

    Despair: The Aim of the Abuser

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    Despair is not often discussed, though it is considered a dangerous psychological condition. Psychology Today describes despair as:         … profound and existential hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, and pessimism about life and the future. Despair is a deep discouragement and loss of faith about one’s ability to find meaning, fulfillment, and happiness, to create a satisfactory future for oneself. The goal of an abuser is to produce the elements of despair in another person. In speaking with the victims of this abuse and having suffered as one myself, I am always surprised at how difficult it is to admit to the…