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Terror: Snapshots of Narcissistic Abuse
I first experienced terror in a nightmare at the age of 5. I sat on my bedspread, suspended hundreds of feet above the neighborhood below. A string dangled from one corner of the bright green and yellow coverlet, just out of the reach of a horrifying King Kong trying to pull me down from my unsteady perch. I couldn’t move for several heart-stopping moments. When I finally found my scream, I bolted to my parent’s bedroom. Terror feels a bit different as an adult. It is even difficult to write this. My innate dissociative tendencies keep interrupting my chain of thoughts. But it must be noted that victims of domestic…
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Intimidation: 5 Tactics of Abusers
Intimidation seeks to terrify, though the technique used to browbeat others is often just a smokescreen for weakness. The one word I would use to describe my ex-husband, at least while we were married, is intimidating. I did not question my fear until much later. My frame for my ex gradually changed from Sauron to Gollum; both pose a threat, but one is more pitiful than terrifying. As I contemplated this particular post, I recalled the instinctive response my body had whenever he came into the room. Years of recovery have not erased the body memory of that gut-level fear. I carry tension, often unconsciously, and am hypervigilant to my…
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Fostering Kittens and Healing from Trauma
Fostering feral kittens requires some patience and Gerber baby food chicken. I started the fostering process with a local non-profit. The big reward is to see the wild babies slowly decide to become domesticated, learning to trust humans for the first time. I find their progression fascinating, especially given that cats individually decide to become tame. Dogs want to be tamed, but according to the feral kitten experts, cats determine their fates for themselves. I’m less of a foster parent than a sales rep for the human race. Some kittens are an easier sell than others. The younger, the better of course, but helping them heal from their unexpected capture,…
Healing Through Art & Words
