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From Trauma Bond to Freedom: Our Family’s Journey
During a conversation about the trauma bond with my oldest, she challenged me to write a post that dealt honestly with the difficult journey my four daughters and I took from years of abuse to a healthy and loving blended family unit. The original trauma bond belonged to me and my ex-husband. For reference, a trauma bond is a seemingly iron-clad tie between an abuser and his or her victim. The result of the cycles of abuse that revolve around reward and punishment, the trauma bond has the same psychological effect as a trap has on the leg of a wild animal. Lured by the promise of something good, we…
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Fear: Three Crucial Types We All Need
Fear is almost a bad word in Christianity today. Reminders that the Bible has the words, Do not fear, 365 times between its covers have become a justification to eradicate it from our lives. And it is true that to live in perpetual anxiety is crippling. However, God gave us each of our emotions purposefully and for good cause. Fear has its place in our souls for several reasons. We would be wise to examine what we fear and why. The absence of fear is as much or more of a mental disorder than being flooded by it. Psychopaths and sociopaths are immune to stress, which is why they are…
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Deflection: How to Spot and Stop It
Deflection is a go-to defense mechanism that started in the Garden of Eden. Adam deflected onto Eve and Eve onto the snake. I’m not the bad guy here. He or she is the bad guy! In order to avoid unpleasant emotions or realities in our lives, we distract ourselves and others from the source of the difficulty. We change the conversation to something else entirely. For some of us, being thought of as the bad guy is the worst fate possible. Anyone with children sees this in action daily. If Mommy reprimands Jimmy for hitting his brother, Jimmy will use deflection to draw the attention from himself. Mommy, but Billy…
Healing Through Art & Words
