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Coming Home to Yourself
The concept of home is one that is over-romanticized, over-marketed, and even a source of competition. I am not dismissing the need for shelter, quite the contrary. And I love creating a sanctuary from the world and its pressures. But the coziest home ever, following al the best hygge practices will only feel as safe as our own heart. One of our favorite things to decry about today’s society is our endless methods of escaping our external realities. I love to read. Sometimes I binge British television. Sugar and sleep are favorites too. And sometimes I just go blank. The fiction is that we are trying to escape some external…
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Trusting Yourself Again After Narcissistic Abuse
Trusting yourself to make good decisions when recovering from trauma related to abuse is a journey that takes a bit of time. I often hear from men and women who find themselves doubting themselves, unable to take risks in relationships and generally stuck in self-imposed isolation. Trusting one’s self after being trapped in an abusive relationship takes some intentionality and a bit of wisdom. Additionally, many of us receive a message from the church which further separates us from ourselves. If the world, the flesh, and the devil are our worst enemies, then we learn to shun the first, ignore the middle one (our flesh) and flee the last. But…
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Deflection: How to Spot and Stop It
Deflection is a go-to defense mechanism that started in the Garden of Eden. Adam deflected onto Eve and Eve onto the snake. I’m not the bad guy here. He or she is the bad guy! In order to avoid unpleasant emotions or realities in our lives, we distract ourselves and others from the source of the difficulty. We change the conversation to something else entirely. For some of us, being thought of as the bad guy is the worst fate possible. Anyone with children sees this in action daily. If Mommy reprimands Jimmy for hitting his brother, Jimmy will use deflection to draw the attention from himself. Mommy, but Billy…
Healing Through Art & Words
